In the previous entry, I asked the beginning questions of theology. Every theologian must come to some conclusions and embark on their faith journey from those decisions. At the conclusion of the prior post I grandly applauded academic communities as the places I could truly call 'church' in our culture's traditional sense. Naturally, it is expected many will scoff and judge me for that conclusion for various reasons (most I assure you I have brought to myself or others have named).
My undergraduate work ended with an interesting thesis in management organizational theory. I did an intense study of organizational structures via organizational metaphors (as written in Images of Organization) in relation to MBTI personality typology. I picked two Christian denominations, studied their official leadership/organizational models (some drawn from personal experience), and asked two personality questions of these religious organization structures. First, is there a definite personality type for specific denominations/Christianity in general? If yes, then how does that personality type impact the organization scheme? Secondly, is there a personality bias for a specific personality type's success in Christianity/the specific denomination? .......this was quite ambitious for a humble senior business student.
My conclusion was not all that surprising to me as a child growing up in church communities. Yes, denominations have a dominatiing personality type (like people gathering together would cause this) while church leadership had a more varied response. Please note, however, that there is very little research done on this issue. Most research I had to use was done in England for the Anglican church. The author's method did allow me to make some limited conjectures for the use of this short term project I did.
Anyway, my personality findings lead to a conclusion that specific personality types--notably introverted, thinking types--are out of sync with overall church communities. Thinking types are almost always limited to clergy....specifically high tradition church and Introverts are forced to develop extroverted tendacies to thrive. The cases I studied with Anglican priests showed as students the priests in training would be INTJ, but five years beyond their formal education be ESFJ..maybe ISFJ. The point is some part of them had to change and develop to fulfill their role.
My intention for this project was not to be overly critical of church organizations. It was a way for me to work out the question 'why is it so hard for me to fit in here? why do I feel so uncomfortable?' As an INTJ, the primary way I deal with the outer world is through analysis, through deep thought. An introvert in a community that largely caters to extroverted types and feeling types does not bode well for either party. One seems to cold the other seems to fast/overwhelming. Am I making an excuse for my ineptitude at being myself or comfortable in a church setting? Maybe......but a community of largely opposite personality types makes it impossible (as learned from personal experience) to for me grow and explore the world with my primary 'function' (i.e. the mind). A community hostile to critical analysis is not a place an INTJ can exist........at least genuinely exist. Nor does it mean I should avoid developing other sides to my personality. Christ challenges me to act in love and justice towards others.
Everyone needs a communitiy where they can just be, though. It does seem that for this part of my life, I am resigned to living my Christian faith beyond church walls. I feel things deeply and passionately, but if I can't intellectually explore as a way to deepen my faith I know I will suffocate. I will not be able to honor God with the abilities of God has endowed to me.
*Do not be alarmed, I am very aware God language has been sadly sparse, but I feel compelled to be honest as an author. It is important for the reader to grasp the theological perspective I speak from.
No comments:
Post a Comment