Perfectionism is often a curse and does interfere with the ability to be spontaneous. Not long ago, I forgot the draft of notes for a classroom lecture and was unable to spontaneously remember the opening section of that draft. So, I opened my lecture with a question to the students--a level of critical thinking they were not prepped for. Novice teaching mistake.
But in the minutes of silence I was aware of anxiety, awkwardness, and waiting. How often can you hear the breathing of a person across the room? Is the awkwardness of being in silence a reflection of our anxiety in feeling the unspoken connection between other human beings?
In my Christian reflection of what I have called 'sonic theology' (based on Hindu theology categories), I have relied on texts I recently read on Hinduism "cosmic vibration" or OM and meditation practices to consider how silence makes us aware of our current place and our relationships to all creation. Minutes can feel like hours, but eventually one finds in silence there is something very much alive.
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