Introspective excavation usually discovers the complexity of emotional states and a root emotion that governs an individual's demeanor. An introspective person is one who instinctively navigates this sometimes dangerous world and is faced with a decision on how to best express her findings.
Unexpectedly, I find a philosophical-theology class most interesting, stimulating, and frustrating. The great significance of small words like "of" "in" "is" and the implied nuances further complicated with "whereas" "insomuch as" etc of other vocabulary words is enough to make abstract assertions concrete headaches. But, there is something so compelling about the writing... perhaps it is the challenge of depths in meaning or the tedious hours necessary to decode a short sentence that lures my interest. I understand the beauty and madness in theology and philosophy, but together the senses are intensified.
The above paragraph is a digression inspired by the philosopher-theologian who I am traveling with last semester as a transition into my exploration of an intense feeling of guilt sparked by an instinct to step beyond theological studies. I resonate with Paul Tillich who identified himself as a man who lived on the boundaries of his social worlds. The puzzling friendship I forged with Kierkegaard was surprisingly personal and guided me through an emotional-philosophical exploration of human anthropology. The intense descriptions of sin and the human condition allowed me to navigate my own complex feelings about formal theological studies and my career. (Not to mention how Kierkegaard sheds light on my interactions with humanity and creation.)
In short, a reluctant friendship with this philosophical theologian reminds me companionship is not always formed from ideological or personal commonalities. The shared human experiences binds all persons: past, present, and future together and our shared human-ness transcends the particularities that threaten to silence our connected reality.
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